I want to just write what I feel. I am no longer trying to impress you or undress her, I’m just the me that I am for now. If that makes any sense at all. I want to connect with someone and have no connection. I wish I could feel butterflies in my stomach again, or get excited when I see a face. I feel so lost in the dark hole of this reality. I mean damn I go threw so many struggles. For instance I’m into hip hop but I don’t feel like I need to dress a certain way to attract the people I want to meet. I mean damn I hope that my mind shines brighter than anything I have on. I mean to me the person you are inside erases everything. I have no perception just what you give. You just got to realize we are all ugly and that’s beautiful. I walk the path of light and darkness searching for someone to talk to. Is it that deep and meaningful just to have someone to talk to? My problem is I understand so much I don’t understand. And I don’t want that to be cool, I don’t want to smoke to that, drink to that I just want ya’ll to understand it. My actions just dictate and show that I have god and the devil inside of me. At war with myself, and chopping my head off at work. Work is what kills me man it feel like my soul just gets eaten up everyday, I cant write I cant do what I want. I am no longer abstract, I’m just trying to get on track man. Can you feel that??